Originally published on LinkedIn on 9-Feb-2017 (Agile Can Be Fun…And Enlightening!)
Anecdotes don’t make good stories. Generally I dig down underneath them so far that the story that finally comes out is not what people thought their anecdotes were about. –Alice Munro
A question crops up in a discussion group “How to achieve in-sprint testing?” After a lot of replies like “include testers in the team”, “estimate testing effort as part of original story estimates” and “very difficult to achieve due to organizational constraints”, an Agile Coach asks “What do you mean by in-sprint testing?” There are no further replies on this topic. After a couple of days of inactivity, the removal of that Agile Coach from the discussion group is general knowledge.
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“We have 4-week sprints each for analysis, design, coding and testing” says the Project Manager (PM). The Agile Consultant (AC) enquires about the project duration, to which he gets a reply “4 months”. AC asks “Are you sure you want to call this Agile and not waterfall?” PM thinks for a while and replies “Well, since we are doing sprints, I am damn sure we are Agile”. AC is still trying to convince the PM that waterfall is the way to go.
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An Experienced Extreme Programmer (EXP) joins a newly-formed team. The team is tasked with developing a product in an Agile way. The development manager solicits EXP’s views on creation of an Agile process. EXP says “Forget the process. Consider coding as a secondary activity and focus on testing first.” That’s the end of EXP’s tenure with the team. EXP’s future in the organization is not yet known.
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Mark, a Program Manager, seeks guidance from an Agile Coach, Joe, to start an Agile project. Joe, out of enthusiasm, exclaims “That’s great. Let’s start with some release planning”. Mark is puzzled “But I did that last week”. Slightly dejected, Joe says “Let’s meet the team”. “It will take a couple of weeks to get the team on-boarded” says Mark. After another five minutes, Joe leaves the conversation, but not before declaring “Mark my words! You are planning to fail”. After a few months, someone overhears Mark trying to pacify his stakeholders. A huge poster on his desk screams “Agile doesn’t work!!!”
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An Ever-Enthusiastic Scrum Master (EESM) gets to work with an Agile team. She requests the Project Manager (PM) for an approval to use a free online tool to help plan and track the team’s work. PM responds “We have spent $….. Enterprise license ….. You have to mandatorily use …. Security…. Reliability…. Support …. Exports Gantt chart….” EESM is frustrated “All I am asking for is a simple online tool, which is free to use and fits the team’s requirements”. “I don’t see any reason to approve this” is the PM’s reply. EESM quits. PM is handed-over a quarterly award for “Best Tool Usage” (whatever that means) after he submits evidence that 70% of the team’s time is utilized in working with the enterprise tool. Meanwhile, we hear that the Business is still waiting for working software.
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VP Engineering (VPE) gets an opportunity to visit Spotify and is mighty impressed. On his return, he reprimands his Agile Expert (AE) “Why didn’t you mention about Spotify earlier?” “Because that model is not suitable to our environment” is AE’s reply. VPE goes “Do you mean we are much better than them?” AE says “That’s an example of extreme optimism, or should I say extreme ignorance.” VPE ignores the remark and declares “From now, all our teams will be renamed as squads.” Smiling enigmatically, AE states “Didn’t Sherlock Holmes say ‘What’s in a name!’” VPE attains nirvana.
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P.S.
- This article is by no means sarcastic, but if you think it is, so be it.
- In fact, this is not 100% fiction.
- If you do not find any resemblance to actual events and to persons, living or dead, please look around.
- The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the author’s past, present or future employers.
- Inspired by Ron Jeffries’ writings (http://ronjeffries.com/).
- Everyone has a story to tell. If you have one, do leave a comment.
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